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| The day we brought Yasser home |
Sometimes becoming a parent is not a planned decision. At times when that happens you do not end up with the right person. I am one of the few lucky ones, we accidentally got pregnant but almost 7 years we are still going strong. He is my best friend and the one who knows the best way to calm me down. Some days I really really need it to but today is not my day or about me. Today is the one day a year that we celebrate the amazing fathers in the world.
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| Hiking with our 6 month old baby |
Today I want to write about the long difficult journey that my husband I went through that makes us cherish being a parent. We first started dated and got pregnant right away with our very first child but that unforntuelly was not meant to be. Although it is sad I learned that are worse things in life than losing a baby before the end of the first trimester. For a short time I was depressed and sad but later found we would out we would be having our lil miss Yasser.
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| Daddy trying to convince Yasser to try some food |
After that first few days of completely freaking out it then hit us that we were becoming parents. Thankfully this pregnancy was easy no special or traumatic things would happen. This was followed by a fairly easy labor too. After my water broke she was here in 12 hours. She was a good baby and by the time she was a month old she would be sleeping through the night. I would tease and say had I only known how easy and great she was I would have never had another kid, but that would just be a lie.
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| Looking at ducks on the lake |
Months after Yasser we found out we would be having Mya. This was the hardest time period not just for me but us as a couple as well. From the very beginning something was wrong I was sick day and night and there was nothing that could make me feel better. Even water made me sick and I was just losing weight like crazy. If you knew me you knew how that was not a good thing because I am tiny. Not just short tiny but super skinny tiny. I was so sick they had to put me on medication in hopes that I would finally start gaining weight.
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| Gettysburg!! (Miss living near it) |
At about 6 months we went in for an ultrasound and thought we would be surprising our family with if it was a boy or girl on Thanksgiving( it was only a few days away). Instead we found out there was no water around her they were hoping my water broke because if it was that then she may have had a fighting chance. We were not that lucky she had potter syndrome. If you have never felt what it is like you are lucky because sitting there pregnant feeling this little life kick away and knowing you will never be able to hold or watch this little baby grow is heartbreaking.
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| Baltimore zoo |
This was a really difficult time for us both, dealing with it was nearly impossible at first. Mya never developed lungs or kidneys or any of her GI track and we had to decide to end the pregnancy or finishing it knowing what the out come was. We decided to end it, it was hard enough as it was. I lost my mind and my poor husband (fiancé at the time) had to deal with me and the after math. All I wanted was my baby. It would be a few months before I came to my senses and try healing.
We were told it would take us a year to get pregnant again and we wanted to have a kid again so we went off birth control the month we were getting married me. On our honeymoon we had the biggest surprise ever, it would not take a year, it took a month (I had both the depo shot and the pills at the same so the fact it took a month was really surprising).
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| Seeing our baby for the first time (little Man) |
When I tell People my little man was planned I mean I planned on having him a year later not within a month, this was the closest to a planned pregnancy we ever had. Gill-G was an easy pregnancy and super easy uncomplicated birth too.
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| Labor is never fun |
Actually I love his birth story. We went in to get induced Feb 9, 2012, it was a training for nurses and we agreed to let them in our room. I even agreed to let the only male student take care of me ( Justin said yes before I could decide) because no one else was okay with it. They broke my water at noon. I was going slow and around 5 I told my nurse I was having horrible pressure. We were not expecting him yet so she was shocked to be seeing a head. Everyone rushed in, and all of the students. Dr. Scout ( I love that doctor) said something that made me laugh and the next thing I know everyone is telling me jokes. All I remember was laughing and then being handed my little man.
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| Students |
After his birth is when things got hard. This poor kid was miserable day and night for the first 11 months of his life. As he got older we started learning why. Gill-G was maybe 3 months when we found out I got pregnant on the pill again.
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| Nicu with Hulk man |
Hulk man like Mya was a difficult pregnancy. Crazy Both of my Febuaray due dates were easy and my April due dates was horrible. They did not think he was going to make it. At 20 weeks I started dilating, it was a battle to keep him in. My water starting dripping early Feb 26 and by late that night I was starting to contract horribly.
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| My poor baby |
We were in the middle of a move that day. I was at the new house with my older two. Justin was bringing over more stuff when my water decided to completely break (talk about timing). Hulk man and I had some serious scares during the labor the 28 they almost did a C section but things corrected its self and a few hours later he was born. We thought we were out of the woods with him but at 6 weeks this kid nearly died. He was getting sick and we had an appointment with the doctor in the morning just needed to get through the night.
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| He was so sad looking |
Justin agreed to take watch and let me get some sleep. The next thing I know here comes my husband flipping out Hulk man was dead and he hands me this blue lifeless looking thing. I had to calm him down and make him find the phone to call 911. I did CPR ( if you do not think taking that class is important, it really is you never know when you might need it) if I did not try he would not be here today.
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| Getting better |
I sent Justin and Hulk man to the hospital while I figured out child care for the other two. The poor child stopped breathing and had seizers for 5 hours. They had to induce a comma (we are debating how to write this so if you know the correct way to word it please let me know) in order to mercy fly him into D.C. Hulk man remained on life support for 3 days until the swelling in his brain went down. I have to say I have never been so thankful to have such a strong willed and determined little boy.
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| Hard to believe this cute face nearly died |
He pulled through and has not stopped moving since. After Hulk man we decided never again will we have another biological child (I still want to adopt one day). I may or may not adopt some days these kids make me want to hide but I would not trade them for anything in this world. Looking back on this I am thankful that I have the right person by my side. This post has taken me almost a week to write and reading through it I still cry. Having kids has been one of our hardest journeys and most heartbreaking but I would not want to trade it. I love my kids and my husband that made all of this possible. With out him I do not know where I would have ended up.
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| All of us |
